Ere mate jus’ put a donk on it!

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It’s Friday again which means two things firstly your bank account come Monday morning is gonna look something similar of that of local tramp who smell’s like piss n’ biscuits and is always asking for two’s on your cig, And secondly your gonna drink the amount of a small African village.

So whilst your clock watching at work at your desk or your clock watching for that giro to come in either way ladies and gentlemen I’ve been running a question to my sweet self What is the best remix ever? It’s a tough one it’s one of them questions in the game would you rather toss off ya dad or finger ya mam?

It’s too hard to call but in true Albion style i thought i’d do something old, new , borrowed and then end it with a picture of me fingering me mam for the bit of blue!

Something Old-:  

This is seriously one of my favourite tunes of all time ; i can’t get enough of it infact if i was to listen to one song for the rest of my life it would probably be this. it’s perfection it’s better than most blowjob’s i’ve had. i’d probably give anyone who disagreed a good old gipton kiss too. One of them that just goosebumps me from start to finish a true true master piece and for me Carl Craig’s best work.

Something New-: 

Truth be told after hearing the carl craig tune fuck all comes close to sounding good. But this is a remix from one of our good friends the man who delivers a good old fashioned wallllloooooppp in his tunes it’s one half of dungeon meat Brawther. He remixes one of the biggest house bands around and brings the heat big time with this yet to hear it on a big system but i can bet you not many people are stood still sending texts when this comes on!

Something Borrowed -:  

Here we go this bad boy was half inched from one of the finest selectors around people say ricardo is one of the best in the business but i’d always , always argue there is one man that can even out do him on his finest day and that is Mr Thomas Franzmann aka ZIP! and this is one tune that will tear up any club!

Something Blue -:  As Promised me finger blasting me mam with her new toilet plunger

mum fingered

Wordz , GraMMEr & Spealling mestakes by Don

Fat Autumn Girls

sunlit-autumn-leaves-4187

So it’s Friday and it’s time to get jiggy wit’ da weekend!

I should be buzzing ringing round looking for partners in crime to smash up the city lights listening to techno and fist pumping thin air and annoying the rest of the street or work place …. however recently i can’t help but find myself enjoying alot more break-beat & chill out vibes. So much so i’ve actually started up a little collaboration with a few sound folk named White Rose Movements but that’s all in the prepubescent stage.
Anyways I’m gonna keep this one short and sweet like a diabetic dwarf ; because it’s Friday afternoon and although my music taste has changed i still got things to see and people to do.

Something Old -:

This guy is just straight up talent he’s worked alongside some of the best in the bizznizzzzzz including the one and only J-Dilla. Call Him DJ Dez , Drummer from Detroit or you might know him for his cuts on La Vida or Moodymann’s Mahogani imprint, under the name Andres. Either way whether he’s making sexy hip hop instrumentals or Deep house that the shufflers can’t dance too he does a damnnnn good job of both!

Something New -:

Nightmares on wax i don’t really need to say much about this guy; He’s a Local lad done great and defo one of my biggest influences. Guy can’t put a foot wrong in my eye’s , unless his foot was to go in my eye, Even then i think i’d have to let it slip! Anyways this isn’t a new tune at all as many N.O.W fan’s will know but it’s a re-rub by the one and only Ashley Beedle. Original is hard to beat but this does a good job dammmmmmn nice tune!

Something Borrowed -:

I tommy twoc’d this off a good friend of mine and also fellow parent to our prepubed child named White Rose Movement. He introudced me to Guts quite recently really and i’m hooked like CRACK! He’s Dope with i captial Fuck me! check him out here

Something Blue-: Sequoia-Redd

Friday treat and let’s be honest alot of you will be taking alot worse than this home this weekend. Hairy pit’s and all you just know under that leaf there is gonna be a fanny that looks like a punched lasagne

Wordz , GraMMer & Spealing Mestakes By Don

Guess who’s back?

yesno

So we’ve been slacker than a prostitutes with several kids vag-jay-jay as of late so apologies. i think our last post goes all the way back to march which is shameful. i wish we had a decent excuse like we’d be hospitalized or we did the season in Ibiza again…. we’ve simple been mooching around Leeds from party to party been L-A-Z-Y! and that doesn’t get you anywhere!

Truth be told i forgot we even had a blog until a few weeks ago i was at some hell hole of a festival in bonnie scotland which featured deep house pioneers Duke Dumont, MK , Oliver $ and some other turklingtons on the bill. I had someone ask me why we stopped the blog? And the only answer to give was? Can you say that again mate i can’t understand your accent? he repeated in his scottish twang and i couldn’t actually give an answer so that made me think let’s bring the blog back!

So i guess we best get to the music. And since the blog was given a bit of a triple heart bypass and resurrected in Scotland and them scratching their cans of super tennents itching for independence i thought apart from the union jack looking shit and iron bru probably doubling in price would we miss the the sweaty socks musically?

Something Old-: 

This little or ‘wee’ piece if from a chap called tobias schmidt sounds more like a nazi foot soldier than a scot granted but he is and he’s pretty fucking good at making techno. This dates back to 1995 when drugs were ace regardless who you bought them from.

Enjoy!

Something New -:  

Here’s someone i would miss it’s auntie flo i’ve still now managed to see one of his live set’s yet but he truly is a great musician who can flex between afro-beat , house , soul , salsa and anything that makes you shake like an ann summers battery powered toy.

Something borrowed -:  

I shazamed this little puppy once upon a club night can’t remember who i stole it from to be fair or where i even was not the greatest of story’s i know but it’s a great song that’s all i know and it’s from Marquis Hawkes who’s seen many a release on DABJ which is a scottish label not the greatest of facts i know but it’s a great label.

Something Blue-:  And the women i’d defo miss granny scogins and her taste in kilts.

somethingblue

So there you have it other shout out’s have to go out to Optimo, Harri & Domenic, Jackmaster , James Johnson , Koreless,  Craig Smith , OOFT, Fudge Fingas & Linkwood

I’m Saying NO to independence and YES to indepen-dance!

Wordz, GrAMMer & Spealing mestakes by Don

History of House

History of House

 

History_of_house

So I saw the latest trailer / teaser for the house that built chicago ; which is a brand spanking new house music documentary which for me I found quite painful. So myself personally when asked this question I first thought of the golden era with the likes of Fingers Inc , Frankie Knuckles , Larry Levan etc but then I remembered been shown a Number of names – sharevari by moodymann the first time I saw him he hand picked this as the track that started it all.

Now although I think Kenny Dixon Jr might be the coolest mother fucker on the planet I couldn’t help but still scratch my head and think was that the very beginning? and what came before then?

So here’s my little piece on the history of house…. hope you enjoy.

Now before I go on i’ll tell you now this shit ain’t gospel either i’m not saying I know the answer because truly I reckon it’s hard to point a finger at a group of fat kids with cake all round there lips and say who took the first slice but i’m gonna get all inspector cluso on this shit and to do that you gotta find out who firstly baked the cake before it was consumed…. so here we go!
What happened before house??..

Well the answer would be Disco and the first traditional disco tune I can find would be this and by traditional I mean (electric bass and guitar, live drums, and acoustic orchestras)

Now this little puppy dates back as far as 1969 and I don’t think it can be argued that it has all the elements of disco but when did Disco become electronic and synth happy?

Well that was when the Moog came around and the first guy to master that was a chap who had a girls names. Sweet ol’ Wendy Carlos came and fucked shit up in classical land by spanking an album called switched on bach. It was recorded on a custom-built eight-track recorder fannying about with numerous takes and overdubs. This was long before the days of MIDI sequencers. Recording the album was a tedious and time-consuming process—each of the pieces had to be assembled one part at a time it’s a lot of a fuck about but well worth it as this is what he created.

Jazz got hold of it and it sounded like this

 

Electronic Music was created and it sounded like this……


And when Disco finally got to grips it sounded EPIC


Now i’ve totally lost myself here. Where was we? This isn’t about the Moog but about house but I think it’s very important to talk about this as it’s a key part to any electronic sound and house is electronic so there is a very brief history on the Moog and what is did to some genres.

Now are we closer to finding out who made the first house music song?? Absolutely not. But I think it’s important to point out a few people who could be in contention to claiming they started house music these are Telex and of course it needed someone from Japan home of the Yamaha Keyboard and let’s be fair all round dab hands with technology i’m talking about the Yellow Magic Orchestra these guys was snapping necks before Kraftwerk and certainly deserve a mention.

TELEX -


& Yellow Magic Orchestra (skip it in if your don’t wanna feel like your stuck inbetween a battle between Sonic the hedgehog and Mario & Luigi)


Personally the closest I can get to finding the first house beat as we know it now is 1984 with a few people contending who stamped the house stamp.

Everyone jumped on Jesse Saunders On & On, which has sold at £180 at it’s higest so surely thats for a reason behind the price maybe this was the first ever house tune ever made?

But I can’t help but put this into contention too

Personally I don’t think we’ll know which fat chubby fuck eat that first slice of cake nor’ will we find out who made house music first but I thought i’d dig some things out that made a difference.

Something blue -:

blue1
Words, Spealing mestakes & gRAMMER by Don

The Ghost

ghost

Saturday 8th March 2014 and we are currently in the age of the lazy cunt, And that’s exactly why we haven’t done a blog in a while so apologies for that. But we are back now and with the subject of Ghosts. Recently I have seen people get spooked out about ghosts. I don’t mean the bedroom sheet floating around rooms with cut out eye holes… I mean something more scary to any music purist the ghost producer!

Now let me put this opinion out there and that’s all it is an opinion. I’m all for ghost producers.

I said It before we are in the age of the lazy which is sadly a fetal disease that is hitting promoters all over the country. They know the best way to fill a club is to hit up beatport or juno’s top 10. They are booking people who are in many ways  one hit wonders who have no actual experience of DJ’ing and DJ stands for Disc Jockey which might surprise some of the newer generation of USB’J’s and Laptops. They shoot there way to the top with normally a one hit wonder and are getting bookings for days upon end.

Now Here’s another scenario for you. Your a music fan and been collecting records for years you can mix tighter and a 13 year olds snatch and have gems coming out your arse however when you hit the studio your attention span is of a fish maybe due to the many late nights under the influence or so on but you can’t get the hang of this producing malarkey? What do you do? I’ll tell you what i’d do i’d ring a friend up and see if i could jump in the studio and get a track together.

It’s sad but the time of the DJ is almost forgotten about I can only name a few that have soley made it with just there DJ’ing ability and i’m gonna sing there praises and post up my favorite mixes in today’s blog.

I know for sure if I was a customer i’d rather pay to see the best Disc Jockey in the world than the best producer. And is getting help in the studio any different from getting help with a laptop DJ’ing?

Something Old -: Optimo are simply amazing and here is a mix from 1991. from one half of the duo twitch the night that led to there success started in 1997 so this was prior but i’m putting it into the mixer as Optimo as both are class acts.

Something New -: Put this in the new section but it’s not so call me a liar and cheat if you want I don’t give a fuck but you’ll be thanking me after checking out this mix he’s simply amazing filling you with non stop funk and boogie and certainly making your day a bit brighter.

Something Borrowed-: Not borrowed at all but this guy for me is one of the very best around ok I know he’s had a couple of tunes out but as collabs and done a various bits and bobs but predominantly he is a Disc Jockey and one the very

best out there we’ve booked him for nest a few years ago and he tore the place to bits! Here’s a mix from 1994

Something Blue -: not the best blowjob lips i’ve seen. but i’ve never shaged a pumpkin like.

pumpkin_tits

 

Wordz , GraMMer, Spealing Mestakes By Don

Tru luv

chlamydia-vodka

So it’s Valentine’s day and love is in the air. I expect everyone’s about to dine out with the love of their life after a day of exchanging gift after gift and whispering an insurmountable amount of sweet nothings into each other’s ears . The young singleton’s have rushed back from work, put on their favourite undercrackers and bought some of the finest hugo bosshead cologne from poundland in a last ditch attempt to whisk away some true love tonight…

But in reality this image is not one we can all relate to. Instead tonight most of us will go out and get that cunted we forget our spud faced, spouses name and proceed to stumble home, not holding hands with that love of ours, by with tariq’s finest donner kebab. And Instead of making love to your significant other you will most likely get back and fuck the sleeve of your favourite jacket whilst sobbing over your last true love which was way back in year 8.

To stop this from happening here’s my finest selection of sexy boy’s to help you get down and dirty tonight.

Something old: -

First up a true classic, just remember all you young folk loved up to the teeth ‘Only Love can break your heart’ as echoed in this masterpiece by St Etienne.  Up there as one of the true classics from the 1990’s, much more a sombre tune to ponder away your previous bogeyed girlfriend, rather than to whip off your keks to and make love in a manic sexual frenzy.

St Etienne – Only Love can break your heart

Something New

Not new at all but, but who gives a fuck when Dance Mania have re released some of their greatest hits as part of a new compilation called Hardcore Traxx. Now with hits such as ‘da dik suk’ ‘work this pussy’ and ‘3 fine hoes’ this Chicago based label might not be the best soundtrack to woo away Tracy the photocopier from work that you think might have a twinkle in her eye just for you. So instead I’ve chosen a track that’s a little more loved up than your usual dance mania, hoe bangin slammer. it’s entitled ‘searching hard’ by da posse,  it’s perfect background music back at yours as you tell that special one about your volunteering work for blind puppy dogs and how you’re definitely going to see them again.

Something borrowed: -

This got dropped last night by my boy Damiano Von Erckert in the boiler room and it went off. Ok, so the tune might have been sampled more times than the thighs of the local brass. But it definitely has its place and can go down a treat at the right time. This 70’s classic makes me want to don some of my dad’s old foisty flares, perm my hair with my nan’s blowdryer and hit the town looking like a 1970’s hustler with pimp stick firmly in tow.

Gwen Mccrae – All this Love

Something Blue: -

oldMan

 

Posted by Aid

Hipperty Hop

Hipperty Hop.

J.-Dilla

Well it’s February and it’s almost valentines day but the only love we’ll be showing this month is for James Dewitt Yancey aka J-Dilla. A few days ago marked the 8th year anniversary of his death. So I thought it would be fitting to dedicate a J-Dilla top 10 for those who don’t know J-Dilla was a producer and a rap artist and basically he was the bollocks everything he touched turned to hip hop gold…. and here’s my rundown.

Here’s my rundown

10 – : Common – The Light

At the turn of the century, Dilla had mastered his warm and fuzzy boom-bap style of production, and by the time the “The Light” hit I personally feel he’d reached his A-Game. The next phase of Jay Dee’s production style was more on the digital side of things but this was a welcome goodbye to that era, which also gave Common the biggest hit of his career.

9 -: Fall in love

8 -: Janet Jackson Got Til It’s Gone Jay Dee’s Revenge Mix

Basically this songs a bitch slap back to the dickheads who didn’t credit him for the Janet Jackson velvet rope album he takes this and beefs up the baseline and sends it back with a big fuck you.

 

7-: Pharcyde – Runnin

The Pharcyde is thankful to J-D for this hit; Dilla here is fresh producer producing a much more brighter baseline than pharcyde was use to and putting in horns, piano’s and a fuck load of class and style showed everyone there is a new lad in town and he’s pretty good at putting shit together.

6- Tribe Called Quest – Get a hold

Tribe Called Quest are always gonna sound good i think but Dilla stamped his own style on them guys too Later in his career we’d learn that Dilla had a liking for sampling strange voices, manipulating them and then poking there eyeballs out to make them into tracks. “Got A Hold” was one of the first times we witnessed this technique It’s also worth noting that Dilla’s right-hand man, DJ Houseshoes, famously claimed that Dilla made this beat in just 12 minutes. I can’t even last that long in the sack never mind make a timeless track like this!

5- Slum Village – DISCO

This joint right here makes you wanna poor shit loads of Hennessey start throwing it up in the air because lets be fair that shit tastes like discharge. But it makes you happy the tune that is not discharge I love this it’s slow bassline does shit to me and give me goosebumps!

4 : J-Dilla – Pause

This for me is really like go go gadget shit the guy’s producing stuff way ahead of his time. The bass and drums literally bubble from your speakers. Rumours have it the girls in D-town use to strip to the album Welcome 2 Detroit now that to me sounds dreams titty’s and j-dilla on the speakers… get me there!

3-: Slum Village – The Players

Now this is why in my opinion he’s one of the greatest of all time…. Slum villages album

Fantastic Vol. 2 was set to drop in 1998 as part of SV’s deal with A&M Records, but when the label folded, the album was stuck in limbo. The album finally saw release in the summer of 2000, and by this point, Dilla had raised his profile considerably, becoming the toast of the underground and a full-fledged member of the Soulquarian collective.

 Dilla was a master manipulator of noises, sounds and voices, but what he did on “Players” was the stuff of legend.

Sampling a simple “Claire” Dilla slowed the lyric down beyond the turntable’s pitch capacity so you think you’re hearing the word “Players.” When this sampling feat was unearthed and fully comprehended it solidified Dilla to be next level at his game.

2 -: Q-Tip – Breath & Stop.

We all know this one….yep like I said this guy shit gold ; this maybe his most well known tune i think i might have been shaking my tail feather at creation years ago to this. it was 5 bottles for a fiver in there i didn’t care what i was dancing to but i always use to point at a lass and shout / slur in her mouth SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT! 

1-: Amp Fiddler – You Play Me

I think here you can really tell just how good he is the vocals are B-E-A-UTIFUL however his production skills stand out ten fold and if perfection was a sound I can imagine it sounds a little like this.

RIP x

 

j.d

wordz, grAMMEr & Spealing Mestakes by Don